well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
