im having a threesome with these popsicles
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize