you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
