therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize