Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
