If that was your dad, he is hot
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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