this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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