so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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