hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
