why didn't you poke me back
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
