Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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