Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize