You're completely useless in the revolution.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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