I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Pooping to opera.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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