ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
