just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
