My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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