my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just found a bag of teeth...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
