im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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