I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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