Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
