The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
