That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
