do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
