so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is wine microwaveable?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
