I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize