One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She told me I should be a condom model.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I want is dick and wine.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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