don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
