If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the condom got lost in my hair
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
