made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
