found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
