wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
