Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
