she woke up with a sticky ear
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
