once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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