theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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