You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
