Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
