You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
