I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
