you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize