Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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