I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize