Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I believe in your delicious
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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