Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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