Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
