Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
