He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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