i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
