I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
