My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
