First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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