they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
