she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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