i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My life is pants optional.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
