literally had 100 drinks last night.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
