Farmville is her only friend.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
