stop calling my apartment porn island.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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