just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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