Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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